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“Not a again stupid parenting book recommendations!” you probably think, “I already read twenty baby books and parenting guides!”.
Sorry I’m so late with my article! I could have spared you the trouble!
Basically, you actually only need to read three books in your pregnancy to prepare yourself fundamentally well for the first few months with your baby.
You don’t need parenting guides that show you how to educate your child within the first year. Education starts later, no matter what the “others” told you.
No, you can’t spoil your child in the first year and no, it doesn’t do things to annoy you on purpose.
I’ll tell you a secret here and now: Your baby adores you and you mean the world for him! He cannot be without you and needs your unconditional love.
There would never be the idea of intentionally annoying or hurting you. It is not yet in able to do so.
How do I know? I read the three books, of course. 😀
In fact, these books have changed my view of things in a positive way, making the first year a relaxing year with my sweetheart. And that’s with the first child.
And that’s what I wish you!
I also wish you not to spend your time with pointless reading, but to enjoy your pregnancy, do yoga, go swimming, drink coffee with your best friend, etc.
Time flies so fast if we don’t use it intensively.
That is why I now come to the subject. I introduce you to the three books that, from my point of view, prepare you sufficiently for the first year and possibly beyond, with your baby.
Disclaimer: I bought all three books myself (ok, one was a gift from my mother) and pass on my own opinion and experiences here. None of the books were provided to me in order to promote them.
I also don’t get any money for these recommendations .. Unfortunately 😉 But there are a few affiliate links in this article :-O I make a commission if you use that link and if you make a qualified buy. You are supporting my Blog this way without spending extra money.
1 Brain Rules for Baby
How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five
- Do you want to know how to get a happy, smart kid ?
- Do you want to tease out the best in your offspring and his possibilities?
- Are you interested in scientifically substantiated facts about your baby ‘s brain developmentfrom pregnancy to toddler age?
These topics, and much more, are covered easy to read and with many vivid examples in “Brain Rules for Your Baby”.
Sure, the title of the book is almost a bait. Made to make you curious.
If then it is bought more often and helps pregnant women or mothers like me, great!
My sister recommended Medina’s book to me, saying, “This is the only book you need to read.” She was almost right. But I’m adding 2 more books! 😉
John Medina is an author and developmental biologist. He manages to wrap the dry scientific findings in stories from his own life and well-known events.
On almost every page you will learn tips and facts that influence the development of your child in pregnancy, as a baby up to the toddler:
- How should you feed yourself in pregnancy?
- How much sport is healthy?
- What effect does stress have on the unborn and on infants?
The book also covers the importance of breastfeeding and influences such as neglect or lack of exercise in children.
What has remained particularly in my mind are the chapters on television and the new media and their influence on our children up to the age of 2.
The book was an enrichment for me and still serves as a reference bookfor me now and then. Here is everything you need to know about the development of your child and, above all, your own influence on it.
Will your child become a genius with this book and reach an IQ of 130 points?
Probably not, as about 50% of the intelligence is inherited. But if you want her to be happy, confident and has the best chances in life, read this book.
If you want a summary of some of the findings from the book, then read my blog post 10 tips for smarter children.
Otherwise you can buy this book on Amazon and read it! You will love it! 😊
2 Dein Kompetentes Baby
Wie Kinder zeigen, was sie brauchen
The second book, which I can fully recommend – to be precise, I would rather lock you in an empty room for two days with thi book! – is the German book “Mein kompetentes Baby” (“My competent baby”) by Nora Imlau.
Unfortunately there is no translated English Version of this book yet!
Nora Imlau is a well-known German author of baby and toddler books. She’s already written many other guidance books like “Geborgen durch die Nacht” (“Secure and comfort through the night”) and “So viel Freude, so viel Wut” (“So much joy, so much anger”).
This book, however, was an enlightenment for me!
I “soaked it up” in two days while my little sweetheart next to me kept his midday nap.
As the mother of my first child, I very often found that there are gridlocked behaviours in our society, when dealing with babies, that were incompatible with my mother instinct.
- Vials (If I can breastfeed, then I would always go for it.)
- Pacifier (What do I have a breast for? Besides, there is the advantage that I can determine/regulate the nuckling by myself.)
- Diapers (What? My baby is supposed to lie in his own excrement? Ugh!)
- Stroller (What? My child is supposed to lie a yard away from me? Without physical contact? How do I know he’s doing well and he’s stuck warm enough?)
- Or the whole thing with the baby food.
Instinctively, I knew something was going a bit wrong here.
My pregnancy and the first few months after giving birth were accompanied by a lot of research and gradually I discovered alternatives that worked for me (baby sling / carrier, elimination communication (EC), co-sleeping, baby led weaning).
Nora Imlau complements these whole themes in her book with the evolutionary background of our past, which was an eye-opener for me!
It is very nicely explained why babies are like they are and which innate competences they bring and how we can deal with them properly.
She explains comprehensibly and with scientific evidence how the babies of our ancestors survived in many millennia and what is still deeply rooted in them from this period.
The present time, when we are equipped with vials, pacifiers and nappies, is such a small amount of time by comparison that the primal instincts have not yet had time to adapt.
I feel my motherhood very relaxed with this overall knowledge.
For example, I have significantly more sleep than before I was pregnant as my baby sleeps with me in the parents’ bed (co-sleeping) and we go to bed together.
This book gave me the reason “why” my instinct rebelled against the specifications of many doctors, baby food marketers, pacifier manufacturers, diaper sellers, and all those other companys who want to make the money with my baby!
My conclusion: These 20 bucks is the best investment you can do as a pregnant woman or a mother.
Go, learn German 😉 and buy this wonderful book on Amazon!
3 Go Diaper Free
A Simple Handbook for Elimination Communication
The third book in my opinion is the standard reference on Elimination Communication (EC).
I started the adventure EC as my son was two weeks old. It was totally exciting!
But many questions also arose:
- How do I do it on the way in a car?
- What do I do on the way in general?
- My child is a winter child, how do I give him the possibility to release himself with all these clothes?
- What do I do at night?
- Why does my son always pee on the changing table?
- Can I use diapers anyway?
So I wanted to immerse deeper into the topic and did many researches. The book was recommended in some EC forums and since it was my birthday I got the book as a present.
Thanks Mom! 😀
The price of more than 40 bucks is a deterrent. But in retrospect by the fact that the book is unparalleled, quite justified.
Then, the first time I held the book in my hands, I wondered about the thickness.
What? Soo much can be written about getting diaper free?
Yes! It can!
The author describes in detail but not boring all her experiences with EC. Having nearly 350 pages, it covers every conceivable aspect of diaper-free, part-time diaper-free, or whatever else exists.
The first chapters also deal immediately with the practical introduction to the topic and various step-by-step instructions for starting with EC, divided according to the age of the child.
This is followed by countless pictures of holding positions, diaper free clothing, standard situations with toddler, etc. All images only show herself and her children. You realize that the author has put a lot of love and effort into creating the images.
The pictures can be browsed through in the middle of the book almost like a flipbook. That’s a funny “how do I release my child in all sorts of situations” silent movie effect. 😀
The second major chapter includes the explanation of standard situations and various HowTo’s:
- What do I do at night?
- How do I handle nappies and EC?
- How do I end the EC process?
She does not address EC’s philosophy and background until chapter 3. There you will also learn some basics such as technical terms that are used or what is the key to success! 😉
I find particularly helpful the 4th chapter “Troubleshooting”. I have read this several times as it helps with the frustrating strikes, which take place every now and then e.g. while getting mobile.
Here you will find explanations for such situations with suggested solutions and you can recall a few important points (“Reduce stress!”).
My conclusion: A really extensive book and probably the best thing to buy on the market so far to EC and getting diaper free.
If you already have experience with EC or even if you have come to the subject completely anew and do not yet know how to start, I can highly recommend this book.
Many mothers fail the subject because they approach the situations too dogged or do not have the right “tools” at hand.
Unfortunately, we no longer live outside and we don’t carry our child around with us half naked, which faces us with various problems that we didn’t have hundreds or thousands of years ago, of course.
If you still want to maintain communication in all areas (food, drink, cuddling/closeness and pee and poo) with your child, I strongly recommend from the bottom of my heart: Stay tuned and read this or other books on the subject!
Go for it!
You can buy this must-have book for all mothers and expecting mothers on Amazon.
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If you know the books or have read other great books that have opened your eyes or that you see as mandatory reading for expectant mothers, leave me a comment.